Eggnog Latte

Coffee and I have an interesting relationship. I rarely drink it, so when I do it has the intended effect. After lunch today I was so sleepy that the likelihood of falling asleep on an open box of pipette tips had me conjuring images of the various honeycomb patterns such an incident might transfer to my forehead. I was caught up on my work, and decided that sampling the new holiday variety latte wouldn't be a bad idea......although it probably wasn't exactly a good idea, either. Sometimes coffee works a little too well with me. Especially when the coffee is eggnog flavored and I suck three quarters of it down in about five minutes. Then my body gets all hyped and my mind starts making leapfrog jumps from one thought to the next at ninety eight thousand miles an hour. Today matters were complicated by the fact that I had very little to do this afternoon.

Without work to keep my brain occupied I found myself locked in on Sesame Street. I work with a man who bears a striking resemblance to the Count. One of my coworkers actually made this observation a while back but it resurfaced this afternoon in my caffeine induced state. His native language is Arabic, so I think it would be great to see how much his accent and delivery of the "one two three, one two three..." line would contribute to the persona. While I'm on it, that has got to have been the easiest/most entertaining job ever. Being a Sesame Street character. Awesome. This thought then led to a mental perusal of the entire Sesame Street cast looking for an identity to match each of the people I work with. I didn't have much success, with the exception of Norm. Although his appearance isn't too terribly similar, Norm reminds me of Oscar the Grouch. ESPECIALLY when he's wearing one of those green paper lab coats and peering at me over the top rim of his glasses. Perhaps if I could get a picture of him on one of those Magna Doodles, then draw in a unibrow and cover his male pattern baldness with some fuzzy green magnetic shavings... Yes. Brilliant.

I then remembered watching Sesame Street when I had my tonsils taken out in the hospital. I shared a room with a kid who always had a red Kool-Ade mustache. Kool-Ade has kind of been ruined for me since coming to work here. Well, the red kind anyway - which is the only kind I ever liked. I sit next to a big plastic jug of blood waste every day that looks just like a big plastic jug of Kool-Ade. Except I know better. And it has floaties. Just ruined it for you too, didn't I?

Speaking of drinks, where is my eggnog flavored liquid crack? I wanted to suck down the last quarter and see what depths my delirium could reach before 4:30. It's in my boss's office....where he's having a meeting with a sales rep of some sort. Boo.

I then wondered what my boss might think if he knew how I was spending my time on the clock. To be fair, I'd been caught up on all of my work all day. AND spent two hours researching work-related information. Maybe he'd still be perturbed. Maybe he'd simply wonder why all of my excellent references failed to mention my severe hyperactivity and apparent lack of anything that might resemble an attention span.

Maybe I'll stick to plain ol' sugar from now on, unless I really need it.