I Firmly Believe

...that glitter eyeshadow should not be worn past a certain age. For me, that age was about fifteen. And that's being generous. I'm not talking about anything that the word 'shimmer' might describe. I'm talking chunky, glittery eyeshadow. The type that comes in those $5.00 halloween clown kits and makes you look as though you just crawled out of a heap of kindergarteners armed with rubber cement and sparkly plastic sprinkles. All costumes aside, what is it about glitter that makes someone think it belongs on their eyes? Isn't that dangerous? One stray flake and your retinas are toast! I could only consider it attractive if your intent is to catch a Bass. Just plunge your head about a foot beneath the surface and you'd easily be mistaken for a fishing lure. It's probably an unrecognized genius fishing strategy.

I feel similarly about pants with words like 'hot' or 'sexy' plastered across the butt. ESPECIALLY in rhinestones. Or rhinestones in general, for that matter. I'm just not a fan -- I don't think it sends a good message. I've got my own ideas about what I think it says about a person and I can't imagine that anyone would willingly send any part of that to the general public....especially via their own ass.